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#24 Bye-Bye Fun, Get Your Homework Done

I love the start of a new month. It fills me with hope. New notebooks, promises of getting back on the wagon with workouts, meditation, productivity, [insert your thing here.] There’s an inherent clean slate, fresh start feeling in a new month — a SuperMonday, a New Year’s Lite.

But if all this motivation is a tool, it’s also a weapon. Something I can use to beat the shit out of myself when I over-commit to perfecting my life and inevitably fall short of my own unreasonable expectations. I often fantasize about what my life would be life, if only.

If only.

If only I meditated every day.

If only I worked out every day.

If only I packed my lunch every day.

If only I practiced my music every day.

If only I wrote every day.

Me, trying real hard to meditate on the beach.

Well. I don’t do all these things every single day. Not even close. Like everyone, I’m juggling work, art, travel, taxes, family, pet care, and Hulu.

It’s very hard to be perfect when Mindy Kaling keeps making all these RomCom tv shows.

The Bully on the Playground inside my brain just says, “See, you can’t do it all. So why bother? Also, you look like a monkey and you smell like one, too.”

Obviously the solution is a complex algorithm of expectation alignment, time management, self care, and commitment.

But it comes down to this:

Calm down, already.

Although I still really like her.

Just pick something. One thing instead of ALL the things.

I know I'm the happiest, most centered, and productive when I have a project. And I’m the craziest, most scattered, and most likely to learn all the words to the opening number from Grease 2 when I have too many projects.

Too many commitments, too many promises, too many priorities and suddenly NONE of them have any meaning.

All right, Little Miss Wise. What’s the ONE THING this month

These are kind of patronizing, right?

I was heading down the shore for the Labor Day Weekend, crammed onto a bus, and thinking about the new fitness app I’d downloaded after a recent skittles-induced shame spiral. Maybe September is the month I start running again!

I checked FaceBook and saw a post from my friend, Robin Gelfenbien (who, incidentally, was sitting a few rows ahead of me on the bus and was about to experience a Hindsley-filled shore weekend. She may never recover.)

I love a challenge.

Robin’s big project for 2019 has been a new challenge each month that she blogs about. It’s been so fun watching her progress from 30 days of limiting social media to 30 days of Self Care (aka “Self Care” - our girl just loves a pun).

Also, welcome to Atlantic City - may all your dreams come true.

This month’s challenge is 30 minutes of writing a day. So, that’s what I’m going to do.

These 30 minutes may not end up in a blog post (usually these take me an obscenely long time to write), but who knows?

For now, I’m just going to see where the month takes me. See you on the other side.

What’s your next ONE THING? Shout if out in the comments (either below, or on FB/IG).


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